thisguy

1.09 am. my iphone is singing to me. random songs on a playlist that's too cluttered to be anything but random.

its the second day of a 5 day holiday. its the second day i've been working past midnight from home.

its getting harder to feel alive nowadays. there's a slight rush i get when i send off a particularly well-put together piece of work. other than that, and some squeezed in moments with loved ones, there's just not enough life in my life.

i dont know why i've been feeling so trapped these days. these are my choices, i'm staying put and waiting on my own accord. so why feel this cornered?

i'm still doing what i love, but things have changed somewhat. a part of me has figured out what's happened and it seems all there is to do is to come to terms with it and adjust until it gets easier.

"all we can do is keep breathing"

breathe. manage my time better. complain less.

easy.

started with waking up on the right side of the bed
getting a nice parking space in the building
a relatively manageable workload that's interesting too
nasi lemak delivered just the way i like it
colleagues in a good mood
spontaneous picnic excursion and car sing-a-longs
kfc & cendol in the park
good meeting to reflect on positive things
relatively early end to the working day
dinner with an old friend
west wing
ben & jerry's ice-cream
joel behaving well for a change

i'm blessed. and certainly grateful for days like these. but it's also times like these when you see things working 100% in your favour, that it becomes glaringly obvious that deep inside, where it counts the most, it's still not enough...